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Susquehanna Valley Women in Transition offers counseling, shelter and other emergency services to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault in Northumberland, Snyder and Union counties in Pennsylvania. |
Controlling Behaviors Warning List
This list identifies a series of behaviors typically demonstrated by abusive people. Both of these forms of abuse - psychological and physical - come from a person’s desire for power and control over another person. The list can help you recognize if you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship.
Psychological Abuse
- Verbal abuse: name-calling, mocking, destructive criticism, accusing, blaming, yelling, swearing, making humiliating remarks or gestures.
- Pressure Tactics: rushing you to make decisions through “guilt-tripping” and other forms of intimidation, sulking, telling you what to do.
- Abusing Authority: always claiming to be right, insisting statements are “the truth,” telling you what to do, making big decisions without consulting you.
- Disrespect: interrupting, changing topics, not listening or responding, twisting your words, putting you down in front of other people, saying bad things about your friends and family.
- Abusing Trust: lying, withholding information, infidelity, unreasonable jealousy.
- Breaking Promises: not following through on agreements.
- Emotional Withholding: not expressing feelings; not giving support, attention or compliments; not respecting feelings, rights or opinions.
- Minimizing, Denying & Blaming: making light of abusive behavior and not taking your concerns about it seriously, denying that the abuse happened, blaming you for the abuse.
- Economic Control: interfering with your work, stealing your money, never allowing you to pay for anything or insisting that you always pay.
- Self-destructive Behavior: abusing drugs or alcohol, threatening suicide or other forms of self-harm, deliberately doing or saying things that will have negative consequences.
- Isolation: preventing you or making it difficult for you to see friends or relatives, telling you where you can or cannot go.
- Harassment: making uninvited visits or calls, following you, checking up on you, embarrassing you in public, refusing to leave when asked.
Acts of Violence
- Intimidation: making angry or threatening gestures, use of physical size to intimidate, standing in doorway during arguments (blocking), out-shouting you, driving recklessly.
- Destruction: destroying possessions, punching walls, throwing and/or breaking things.
- Threats: making and/or carrying out threats to hurt you or others.
- Sexual Violence: degrading treatment based on your sex or sexual orientation; using force, threats or coercion to obtain sex or perform sexual acts.
- Physical Violence: being violent to you, your pets, or others; slapping, punching, grabbing, kicking, choking, pushing, biting, burning, stabbing, shooting, etc.
- Weapons: use or threatened use of weapons, keeping weapons around that frighten you.
